My New Kitten Hates Me & How Can You Can Fix This

It can be really disappointing when you have brought your beautiful kitten home and in the few days that you have had them, they seem to be keeping their distance- if not avoiding you.

You yearn just to cuddle your kitten and for them to fall asleep on your lap,  but it is just not happening – could your new kitten hate you?

In a nutshell, the answer is definitely ‘no’  but maybe in your first few days together they found your affection almost overbearing and may feel uncomfortable around you and even mistrust you, so they prefer to have ‘their own space’.

Here are some tell tale sign to watch for that are indicating all is not quite right

Signs To Look Out For

  1. The tail is a good barometer

Looking at the position of your kitten’s rail is a great indicator as  to how your kitten is feeling.

If their tail is upright or shaped like a query mark, in kitty language this is very positive!

If the tail is lower than the horizontal this is telling you that your kitten is feeling afraid and in an older cats this can be a sign of aggression too.

Basically the lower the tail, the more stress in your puss cat.

  1. Your kitten keeps hiding

If your kitten keeps hiding, it is not you that they they are unsure of, but their environment.

If it is just a few days since you brought your kitten home, they might just find everything overpowering.

When you first brought your kitten home, did you put them in a small safe area such as the bathroom or another small room?

You need to put your kitten in a small room with their bed, food and water for a few days. Keep popping in to keep them company.

After a few days, if they seem settled, give them access to one other room and repeat this process every few days until they have the run of the house.

Do not let them outdoors for a few weeks until they are feeling happy and confident in their new home surroundings.

If you have had your kitten in your home for a few weeks and they have only just started hiding, take them along to be checked out by your Vet as there could be a health problem.

  1. Your kitten keeps biting

Just like puppies, kittens want to bite you or gnaw on your knuckles as they are teething and their mouth is sore.

This is a stage that your kitten will grow out of. If you are bitten by them as an adult cat, this is definitely a sign that they are not happy with you!

4.Your kitten runs away and won’t play

Kittens do have their own minds and cats in general do what they want to do and when they want to do it and this is not something you will ever be able to change.

Cats are creatures of habit and it is a good idea to play with them a couple of times every day at about the same time for 15- 20 minutes.

You should both enjoy this playtime, but be very gentle as your kitten is very small. 

Invest in a few little kitten toys including one of the catnip filled soft toys on a string – kittens usually find these irresistible. Having said that, some kittens don’t enjoy playing but just adore a cuddle session!

  1. Your kitten is hissing and growling

This certainly can be off putting – especially from such a small creature! Fear not, this is just your kitten growing up and developing by trying out the noises they can make – a little like a baby does.

Why Does My Kitten Not Like Me?

It can be really disappointing when your kitten is cuddly and affectionate with everyone except you!

Now it is true that your kitten may have a problem with you, but it is unlikely.

The easiest way to find out is to run a little test.

Make sure that your kitten has all they need – comfy bed, a cat litter tray with litter suitable for a kitten, good food and fresh water.

Back to basics now, did you feed your kitten or did you forget?

Did you change the litter box?

Are their other cats in the house that could be stealing your kitten’s food?

Make sure your kitten is happy in their bed – they will prefer it up off the ground on a shelf or similar.

Does your kitten have their own litter box?

Is it out of the view of your other cat’s tray? Sounds daft, but kittens/ cats do not like being watched by other cats.

Are you cleaning the tray each time it is used? Cats are very clean animals and from an early age, kittens do not like soiled cat litter nor do they like sharing a litter tray.

Hopefully if you have checked all these points and given your kitten attention and play times, the problem will have been resolved.

How Do I Get My Kitten To Bond With Me?

There are three important keywords to successful bonding with your kitten:




If there are several family members all trying to bond with the kitten at the same time, it will take time and there is the risk that the kitten could get confused.

It is best for them to bond successfully with one person and then the others can start to take part in feeding and grooming routines. 

Stick to a schedule.

This may sound strange, but cats are creatures of habit and love a routine.

If you have forgotten it is feeding time – they will come and remind you!

Establish a routine as soon as your kitten comes to your home and importantly this will really help to establish their trust in you. Cats can easily be stressed, so having a fixed time schedule will help your kitten to relax and settle

Cuddle your kitten.

This may sound a daft thing to list, but showing your kitten affection from very early on is crucial.

Kittens thrive on attention and love being petted. Gently stroke their backs, ears and the pads on their feet.

The favorite spot for most cats is the top of their head!

Only cuddle your kitten when they want to, if they don’t let them go and tray again when they approach you.

Kittens love to be groomed so this is another fun activity,  but make sure that you brush them really gently.

You can check out my article on How to raise a kitten to be cuddly which has some pretty cool tips and advice

Play regularly!

Kittens are energetic and curious so play times are essential!

Kittens are naturally playful and if they are enjoying themselves they will be more relaxed and the bond between you should start to develop.

Again, never do anything your kitten doesn’t like and when they decide the play session is over, then it is, because the other point to remember where your kitten is concerned is that they may be tiny, but they are the boss! 

Don’t know what to do with your kitten?

Check out my article fun things to do with your cat at home 

How Long Does It Take For a Kitten To Bond With Its Owner?

Another good question is ‘how long is a piece of string’? Every kitten is different and even though you have brought them to your home, they will have already had many experiences in their short life – especially if your kitten comes from a rescue home.

There is a lot of adjustment for your kitten in the early weeks.

They must get used to a new home, new people different food and even different cat litter.

To get to the stage where they feel relatively settled and even affectionate towards you, takes on average 3-4 weeks but can take much longer.

It is important to remember that cats can be very different characters.

There are some that are real ‘couch potatoes’ and hardly move from the most comfortable armchair or lap all day.

Others are very independent, only show affection when they want to and treat your home like a McDonalds – popping in for a quick tasty meal before disappearing again!

Kittens have both these types of character and though this could be disappointing for you, don’t let it be because both types can love you very much!

How Can The Cat Language Bible Help You Increase The Bond With Your Kitten?

You must be wondering What is Cat Language Bible

What Is Cat Language Bible? 

Cat Language Bible


The Cat Language Bible is a guide that has been written by Jonas Jurgella who is an animal researcher and a specialist in animal behavior.

Over the years he has worked with hundreds of cats and their owners to help them to nurture bonds.

He does this by teaching the owners ‘how to read their cats’ behavior and to understand the non-verbal signs  and what they are trying to communicate.

The book is 11 chapters of really good reading that helps cat owners to understand their pets well and to communicate with them far more effectively. 

Who’s This Guide For? 

If you are happy with the relationship with your kitten and don’t think it can get any better then it’s not for you

This guide is for those cat parents who want to understand their cat like never before 

It’s for those cat parents that want to build a even more stronger bond with their cat

It’s for those cat parents that want to communicate with their furbaby in a way they actually understand

It’s for those cat parents that want to be able to care for their furbaby

And what better way to start this then with your kitten

The best part?

The bond between the two of you will get even more stronger as your kitten grows up

It’ll become into something very beautiful

Something only other cat parents can dream of

Lucky for you, you have the chance to do this

You can find out more about Cat Language Bible by clicking here 

There’s pretty free awesome bonuses that you get with this guide

I have written a in-depth review which you can check out

Cat Language Bible Review 


Building a strong relationship with your new kitten can take time

Like I mentioned earlier in the article

3 words to remember




Your kitten does not hate you

She’s just getting used to their new surroundings

My Tigger was very scared too when I first got him

It did take time for him to get used to me and my family

But now

Now he’s a lap cat

Loves to sleep on my lap and will look for every opportunity!

We have our cats for life

They will be with us for a long time

So having a good relationship with your furbaby is very important 

That’s why understanding your cat and being able to talk to them in a way they understand is very important

This will help you look after your kitten too

Which is why I had recommended Cat Language Bible 

This guide will teach you how you can become a better cat parent

And most importantly

Build that strong bond with your kitten so you can look after her in the best way




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